As I’m working through this last week in Uganda for a while, I’ve been very introspective, thinking an awful lot about where we’ve been, what we’ve accomplished and how far we’ve come these past seven years.

Our Ugandan programs are finally starting to run on their own. This was the dream all along, and I’m thankful for the help of the community of donors, volunteers and contributors that made that happen.

I try to thank that community as often as I can, but as I look back on our journey, I’m reminded of several pivotal points where this whole thing could have fallen apart, but because of ridiculously timely, generous donations, volunteers that have given of their time and money, prayer and emotional support, our mission in Uganda held together.

Every single one of these pivotal moments are noteworthy, but I want to highlight one in particular that’s been on my heart for several years now. I hope you’ll bear with me as I try my best to explain this exceptional turning point for HFC.

Back in 2011, my friends and long-time supporters at Offensive Security came alongside me to see if there were specific ways they could help me, and perhaps help HFC. I mentioned that we were struggling financially since jumping off the corporate ladder to work in Uganda, and I felt like my technical skill were atrophied because of the years teaching basic skill to Ugandans. As we chatted, it became obvious that what I really needed was good, flexible, part-time, remote work in the industry where I could keep my skills sharp, make a difference in the community through training, and make some decent money so that we could keep up our efforts in Uganda.

Eventually, they brought Jen and I to the Offensive Security Live training class in St Kitts to see their training in person and meet the team.

The job they offered would involve part-time work from Uganda, some paid travel, teaching opportunities and the chance to work with some of the brightest and coolest people in the industry. On top of that, they offered me a very generous salary and even paid for a generator, an iPhone and some office equipment.

This was literally a dream come true. Even if I had never pursued HFC, this would still have been a dream job, but when the complexities of life in Uganda and my duties running the HFC programs were factored in, this was even better than a dream job, if that’s possible. I jumped at the opportunity.

But the dream was far from a reality. Instead of working part-time hours, I would work 8-12 hours a day thanks to power failures, Internet drop-outs, “Uganda interruptions”, and the fact that HFC was in its infancy and every single problem in every single program required my immediate attention.

All the interruptions and distractions made it impossible to stay in the demanding mental zone the job required and I ended up doing things over and over again to get them right. In addition (and likely most importantly) I was fighting some serious demons personally, emotionally and spiritually making it inarguably the absolute worst period of my life.

As a result, my work for OffSec was sub-par, and for as much as I struggled to keep things together, HFC started falling apart. The more I struggled, the worse things became. My family hardly ever saw me, and what little they saw of me was stressed and frustrating.

Offensive Security was amazing through all of this, despite the fact that at times I acted like a prima donna, requiring more than most employees and giving back less.

The OffSec gig culminated at Blackhat 2012, where I led the Pentesting with BackTrack (PWB) course. The course was amazing. I was on cloud nine. Blackhat was amazing, DEFCON was amazing, and the trip was an whopping success on many different levels. I rode the thrill of that (admittedly grueling) week like a tidal wave. I had renewed confidence in myself and my abilities, had returned to my pen testing roots, had rekindled my love of teaching and most of all, I had been accepted into an incredible new family, all thanks to Offsec.

However, my return to Uganda wasn’t nearly as triumphant. HFC Uganda was a mess, with more fires to put out than ever. I asked OffSec for a short break so I could pick up the pieces, and they graciously allowed it. Six months flew by in practically the blink of an eye. I was still picking up the pieces and I realized I hadn’t even checked in with them.

I reached out to them but the damage was done. They realized, as I did, that HFC was my full-time job and that there were other major issues that were interfering with my ability to work with them, or anyone else for that matter.

Our parting was anti-climactic and amiable. I didn’t formally quit, but neither was I formally fired. I just drifted away, back to the smoldering fires of a dying Hackers For Charity. In the end, I was high-maintenance, and a let down to the team. Worse than that, I wasn’t a very good friend to my OffSec family.

But to my chagrin and surprise, Muts, Iris and the rest of the team still continued to give to me and HFC in so many ways. They refused to accept any of the equipment they had given (the generator powers the Keep now) and they continued to give even more. They embraced me as a person, offering hugs and pats on the back to encourage me, exclusive swag for auctions and funds from Metasploit Unleashed, which continues to support us to this day. It was clear that although I was no longer an OffSec employee, I was still part of the family.

And I think that’s part of what makes Offensive Security so special. They are so much more than kick-ass world-class hackers. They created a movement with Backtrack and Kali, have given so much to the community, and on top of that, they run a world-class pen testing and training company but at the end of the day, they make students and employees feel like privileged (albeit unworthy in some of our cases) members of an elite royal family.

I look back on those days with a lot of regret. In so many ways, working with Offensive Security was, and is my dream job. Great people who became more like family, working on the cutting edge in one of the coolest fields, for the coolest clients, in some of the most amazing (virtual and physical) locations. I mean, it’s OFFSEC for cryin’ out loud! BUT, despite my sadness at having lost that opportunity, I look back and realize that my stint with OffSec was a pivot. They picked me up, dusted me off, renewed my confidence, re-engaged my uniquely twisted mind in a way that I thought was lost, financially backed us and without so much as a single smart-ass comment, put me back in the fight in Uganda. I can’t thank them enough for that kind of grace.

As a result, HFC recovered. We aren’t fighting fires every day and our programs in Uganda are finally starting to run on their own. I eventually got my head on straight too, and Jen, the kids and I made it through some really tough times, together.

After everything, here we are, returning to the US for a while, not in defeat, but in victory. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I can say that these past seven years have not been a failure. We’ve changed countless lives and made a difference for so many people that had lost hope.

And that’s thanks to so many people. To everyone that shook my hand, said an encouraging word, offered a hug, gave a buck, bought a T-shirt, made small (and large!) monthly donations, donated equipment, came to visit us, or leveraged your circle of friends or your company and it’s employees to help us out, I can’t thank you enough. You all took on some level of discomfort to help someone out. It’s surprising the amount of impact that has had.

Heading to the U.S,
Johnny, Jen, Makenna, Trevor, Declan
The Longs