<begin stream of consciousness>

I’m starting to think an awful lot about DEFCON 2010. I really want to be there, but I’m not really considering submitting a talk to Blackhat, which if accepted would get me airfare, a DEFCON pass and partial hotel. Don’t get me wrong. I love Blackhat, but it’s always been a package deal. Even when I was employed, it was tough to sell my company on flight plus hotel and work hours, so the “speaker package” was a really sweet deal. Now, as an unemployed… something (what the heck am I now?) it’s even harder to justify the $2000 + for airfare and the $500 or so for hotel and food, which would come out of personal donations to our family or HFC money. Now, typically DEFCON is a good event for us financially. Last year, we made something like $5,000 BEFORE EXPENSES. But DEFCON is even better from a relational / networking / community standpoint. HFC volunteers get to meet and greet, I get to talk to tons of people, we get lots of exposure and we get our message out there. Now on years that I have a talk the exposure is multiplied, but like I said I really don’t have a talk. I could do an HFC “what we’re up to” talk, but I always thought those were a bit self-aggrandizing, sales-pitchey and awkward. It’s not really me style. Last year’s talk was a transitional talk as I made a bit of an exit from the full-time hacking / pentesting / employment scene. It was fun, but the message was decidedly non-tech. It was about making sure you do something with your skills and your life before you get to the top and (like me) find the view lacking.

So I want to go, I’m just not sure what the best solution is. DEFCON is home for me. I’m surrounded by people just like me, and I’ve always loved hanging out.

I’m just not sure I can swing the money to get there.

I’ll keep you posted. Maybe someone has miles they could donate, or an extra room they could give me for the cause. I feel icky spending so much money when I see how far it goes in our programs.