I knew the minute it hit the ground, that was it. Jen’s MacBook fell the impossible distance from the table onto the concrete floor with such impossible force and with such a sickening thud that I knew in my soul it was done. The details are sketchy, but it just… happened.

I’ll do my best to recover the years of photos and documents we never backed up. The prospects are grim. Based on how hard it hit and how bad it’s acting, it’s a total loss.

I really feel like vomiting. Jen had really gotten into Facebook lately. It was a way to communicate with the world, and a way to keep in touch with her friends. Jinja is so freaking lonely for us that Facebook had become a bit of an oasis for her. She never was a computer user, but after two years with the Macbook, she was creating documents, emailing, writing schedules, designing DVD’s.. so many things. And right now, it looks like it’s all gone. (Most of the intellectual property of the cafe is gone, too, but that’s not even on the radar at this point.)

And it’s not like we can take it to the Apple Store. There isn’t one.

This made me realize how insane we are for using Apple products here in Uganda. If anything happens to these machines here, they’re DONE. No one works on them and even if they did, the parts alone would be too expensive. But we’ve come to rely on them and we’re used to them. Switching back to Windows at this point would be painful at best. We’re wired for OSX.

But we might have to start using Windows because we might never be able to afford Apple products again. In the US, when I was working, it would hurt to buy another Macbook, but in this case I would run out and buy one if it was totalled. But on this path we’ve chosen it’s simply not possible anymore.

I’m in deep mourning. For Jen and also for the inevitable future that awaits my machine as well. For the first time in about five years, I’m almost regretting our move to the Mac.